Family mediation

Family mediation is a voluntary, confidential and impartial alternative to family court proceedings. An impartial mediator listens to you both and helps you to make decisions about your own and your children’s futures, taking account of all your needs, concerns and interests.

• Family mediation focuses on the needs of children, recognising that you remain parents after your separation
• Family mediation is a more cost effective and faster process than proceedings through the courts
• Family mediation can help resolve wider family issues

Family mediation is not:

• Marriage counselling or therapy
• A legal advice service

• Couples who are separating, whether married or co-habiting, and who need help resolving issues relating to the separation of their finances and property
• Parents who need to agree arrangements for their children after their separation
• Children can be included in mediation, so that their wishes and feelings can be taken into account, if they are over the age of 10 and both parents consent
• Grandparents and other wider family members who have issues that need to be resolved

First appointment – Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM)


At the first appointment the Mediator will see you both separately and usually at different times. The principles of mediation will be explained together with what happens next and what is expected of you. The Mediator will also assess whether it is appropriate to mediate and whether or not you are going to be safe and comfortable in a mediation environment.

It is a requirement to attend a MIAM before you can issue an application to the court, save in exceptional circumstances.
 If all the parties are willing to continue then a joint mediation appointment will be arranged and an Agreement to mediate form will be signed by everyone to show willingness to participate in the process.

Second and subsequent appointments


The second and subsequent sessions will take place with all parties present.
The issues that need to be discussed will be established at the meeting. If financial arrangements need to be discussed then you will be asked to complete a financial information form and in due course provide supporting documentation. There is a requirement to provide full and frank disclosure of your financial position prior to discussing any proposals. Expert help may be required, depending on your circumstances, such as a pensions actuary or forensic accountant.


The Mediator will help you talk through the issues and will use a flip chart to set out the main issues that need to be agreed. The Mediator is impartial and does not take sides or give legal advice. At any time during the process, you are free to consult with your solicitor. The Mediator is there to help and facilitate you reaching an agreement that is acceptable to both of you and in everybody’s best interests.

Each session usually lasts 90 minutes. You are only charged for the sessions that you undertake. The number of meetings you will require will depend on the number of issues to discuss and their complexity. This will be discussed at the first appointment.

If the process is not working for you then you can withdraw at any time since family mediation is a voluntary process.

Final appointment and the outcome


When an agreement is reached the Mediator will prepare 2 documents:

1. A Summary of Financial Information will be prepared if financial issues have been resolved. This is an "open" document, which means that it is a factual summary of the parties' financial details. This statement can be used in any financial application at court;
2. The second document is a Memorandum of Understanding. This is a summary of the proposals that you have agreed to in mediation. This is a "privileged" document, which means it cannot be used in court proceedings unless both the parties consent. It is recommended that you show this document to your respective solicitors to obtain independent legal advice and then if you are in agreement it can be drawn up into a consent order and lodged at court, when appropriate

When parents make arrangements for their children following separation, many children and young people want the opportunity to be listened to and have their views taken into account. In mediation children can be given this opportunity, if both parents consent to them being invited to do so. They are offered confidentiality to enable them to express their wishes and feelings and to then decide what they want their parents to know. Children would usually need to be aged over 10 to be seen. For a good resource for children and young people affected by separation see the Voices in the Middle website.

• Before you issue an application to the family court it is expected that you will have considered family mediation as an alternative, save in exceptional circumstances
• It has been found that arrangements made in family mediation are more likely to work in practice than an order imposed by the court
• The family mediation process can reduce tension and hostility and improve communication, helping to make the process of separation less stressful and improving the possibility of long-term co-operation where there are children involved
• You are in control of the issues you want to discuss and the pace at which you discuss them
• Family mediation focuses on the interests of children, recognising your role as parents even though you are no longer together
• You can both take legal advice from solicitors throughout the process to ensure that you are making informed decisions

• Any proposals made by you are recorded in a Memorandum of Understanding. This document is confidential and cannot be used in court proceedings without the consent of you both
• If you both agree, it can be submitted to a solicitor who can use it to draw up an application for a consent order within divorce proceedings or a separation agreement, if you are not divorcing
• Where finances are discussed an Open Statement of Financial Information will be prepared, which can be disclosed to your solicitor and referred to in court
• Where arrangements for children are being discussed a Parenting Plan can be drafted

• Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings cost £100 per person (incl. VAT) online and £125.00 per person (incl. VAT) face to face, to include the provision of court forms, if required.
• Family mediation sessions cost £120 per person per hour (incl. VAT), which includes all correspondence, emails and telephone calls. We usually schedule meetings for 1 hour 30 minutes, which will cost £180 per person. If you prefer to meet for 2 hours then the cost will be £240 per person. The fee includes a confidential outcome note after each session.
• The drafting of documentation costs £100 per person per hour (incl. VAT). This includes preparation of your Open Statement of Financial Information, Memorandum of Understanding and Parenting Plans, where relevant.
• Child inclusive mediation costs £100 per consultation (incl. VAT). Feedback will be given to parents in a separate joint meeting, charged as set out above
• Ministry of Justice Family Mediation Voucher Scheme – we will be able to apply for a voucher to cover up to £500 per family towards the cost of mediation on child arrangements, including child inclusive mediation.
• Legal aid is available for family mediation from other services. As a small independent service, we regret that we are unable to offer legal aid for mediation

• Family Mediators Association
• Family Mediation Council
• Cafcass Parenting Plan
• Voices in the Middle
• Information on separation and divorce
• Information on child maintenance